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starkhasaheartThe interview had been changed from eight in the evening to five at the last minute. Robert had had all of an hour’s notice, which was annoying. It meant that the five o’clock dinner reservation had to be cancelled. It meant he had to find something to eat at home to tide him over until after, when he could catch a late dinner instead. He’s irritable when he shows up, but he tries to shake it off. It’s not long before he all but forgets his own inconvenience about the change in time because, as he chats with Tom as they’re getting the microphones set up and doing camera tests, it’s becoming apparent that the time change was more than just inconvenient for him. He asks him if he’s alright, and Tom says he’s fine, just fine. But he’s not fine. In fact, he’s far from it.
Robert was almost certain that no one else noticed it, but he had. Tom’s on edge in a way he’s never seen him, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d wonder if he was riding a particularly nasty drug high. But it’s not that kind of high, it’s something else entirely. Something that, from the looks of him, hadn’t gone as planned. Robert had wondered in passing if Tom was into, shall we say, kinky extracurricular activities. How could he not at least think it? To watch the man playing Loki was captivating, and he could see, in nuances of his performance, how he put something distinctly dominant into the role. Here again he feels like he might be the only one to see it, the only one to wonder — at least he thinks that anyone else who wonders has to be equally as familiar with the lifestyle as he is.
Robert knows from experience that sometimes people who are generally submissive can turn the tables (so to speak) with incredible skill. Either by switching, topping on occasion, or in acting, embodying the kind of Dom they look for, the kind of mannerisms and behaviors that really turn them on. Robert sees that in Tom, sees the sexuality that he brings to Loki, sees the darkness there and the desire in how he embodies what he wants to find. Maybe he’s found it. He’s found something, anyway, because from the looks of him today, he’d come in to the interview right out of the middle of a scene that he hadn’t had time to see through to the end. He’d certainly not had time to come back down, but as the interview is about to start, he’s not so sure that he’d even had time to finish. He’s out of it in such a strange way, like he’d been yanked right out of that moment where he starts to leave his body and forced to re-inhabit it without the release that let him come back down naturally.
He wonders if Tom knows that he suspects. If he does, there’s no way to talk about it now. All thought of how awkward the interview would be otherwise aside, he reaches over to let his hand simply rest against his upper back to soothe some of his jangling nerves. Not for the sake of the interview, but just to help him settle. He guessed that being unable to take the time to come back down, having to skip all of the aftercare, that he was in need of some simple touch, at the very least. It certainly seems to help, though he’s definitely different through the whole interview than he’s seen him before. Like he’s not quite sure of himself, not quite inside his own body quite right, and he keeps looking over at him, talking to Robert as though he needs the reassurance sometimes when he answers.
They’re nearly to the end and it seems as though Tom is doing better. He seems calmer, more himself, more able to focus, and so he pulls his hand away. He’d be lying to say that part of pulling away hadn’t been a kind of test, curious to see if he’d been right before and wrong now, to see if Tom was still desperate, still needed to curl into something outside of himself to quiet his nerves. And from the looks of it, he was. Practically the instant he pulls away, Tom is diving for his hand like he wants to pull his arm back around him like a blanket. Robert doesn’t give him the chance, just moves back to where he’d been, a soothing hand rubbing over Tom’s shoulder blade before settling there, thumb gently trailing back and forth.
But now he knows. In the next moment their eyes lock, he feels certain that Tom can tell. And if he can’t? Then he will. Because there’s no way he’s walking out of this interview without asking. Without ascertaining if Tom’s alright, if he has plans to finish this, and if not, if perhaps he can lend a hand, among other things he’d be willing to lend him.
Robert was almost certain that no one else noticed it, but he had. Tom’s on edge in a way he’s never seen him, and if he didn’t know any better, he’d wonder if he was riding a particularly nasty drug high. But it’s not that kind of high, it’s something else entirely. Something that, from the looks of him, hadn’t gone as planned. Robert had wondered in passing if Tom was into, shall we say, kinky extracurricular activities. How could he not at least think it? To watch the man playing Loki was captivating, and he could see, in nuances of his performance, how he put something distinctly dominant into the role. Here again he feels like he might be the only one to see it, the only one to wonder — at least he thinks that anyone else who wonders has to be equally as familiar with the lifestyle as he is.
Robert knows from experience that sometimes people who are generally submissive can turn the tables (so to speak) with incredible skill. Either by switching, topping on occasion, or in acting, embodying the kind of Dom they look for, the kind of mannerisms and behaviors that really turn them on. Robert sees that in Tom, sees the sexuality that he brings to Loki, sees the darkness there and the desire in how he embodies what he wants to find. Maybe he’s found it. He’s found something, anyway, because from the looks of him today, he’d come in to the interview right out of the middle of a scene that he hadn’t had time to see through to the end. He’d certainly not had time to come back down, but as the interview is about to start, he’s not so sure that he’d even had time to finish. He’s out of it in such a strange way, like he’d been yanked right out of that moment where he starts to leave his body and forced to re-inhabit it without the release that let him come back down naturally.
He wonders if Tom knows that he suspects. If he does, there’s no way to talk about it now. All thought of how awkward the interview would be otherwise aside, he reaches over to let his hand simply rest against his upper back to soothe some of his jangling nerves. Not for the sake of the interview, but just to help him settle. He guessed that being unable to take the time to come back down, having to skip all of the aftercare, that he was in need of some simple touch, at the very least. It certainly seems to help, though he’s definitely different through the whole interview than he’s seen him before. Like he’s not quite sure of himself, not quite inside his own body quite right, and he keeps looking over at him, talking to Robert as though he needs the reassurance sometimes when he answers.
They’re nearly to the end and it seems as though Tom is doing better. He seems calmer, more himself, more able to focus, and so he pulls his hand away. He’d be lying to say that part of pulling away hadn’t been a kind of test, curious to see if he’d been right before and wrong now, to see if Tom was still desperate, still needed to curl into something outside of himself to quiet his nerves. And from the looks of it, he was. Practically the instant he pulls away, Tom is diving for his hand like he wants to pull his arm back around him like a blanket. Robert doesn’t give him the chance, just moves back to where he’d been, a soothing hand rubbing over Tom’s shoulder blade before settling there, thumb gently trailing back and forth.
But now he knows. In the next moment their eyes lock, he feels certain that Tom can tell. And if he can’t? Then he will. Because there’s no way he’s walking out of this interview without asking. Without ascertaining if Tom’s alright, if he has plans to finish this, and if not, if perhaps he can lend a hand, among other things he’d be willing to lend him.
